CTC-19 "How to Help Your Players Be Resilient and Work Together" Sam Rutowski - NKU Women's Soccer

Sam Rutowski join us on the Coach to coach podcast.

Currently, she coaches at Ross High School and plays semi-professionally with the Cincinnati Sirens.

Before that, she was the Graduate Assistant Coach at Lee University who made a national championship finals.

Sam was also a standout player for the NKU Women's Soccer program where she played all 4 years which included a Horizon League championship as well as the nod as a captain as a senior.

Topics include:

- Transitioning from being a player to coaching
- Value of knowing players individually through tools like the Enneagram
- Self-discipline
- Creating an environment of players supporting one another

Transcript

Nate:   0:00
This is the coach to coach podcast episode number 19. Game time. What's going on, guys? Welcome to the coach to coach podcast. We believe every kid deserves a coach that cares, and every coach deserves someone in their corner. I'm your host, Nathalie, and I'm so pumped to have you with us on the show today. This podcast is sponsored by the Northern Kentucky Fellowship of Christian Athletes, and there's an incredible work being done. We're grateful to all of the donors and board members and prayer partners and people that contribute and make things just like this podcast possible. Well, hey, on this episode, we have a very awesome interview with a good friend of mine, a former F c A leader at NKU Sam Rutowski. She's a former soccer player at Northern Kentucky University. She is on the back end of her graduate assistantship at Lee University, which is a national championship contender at the division to level on the soccer field. She shares some insight on how she's been able to handle Ah lot of things at once in her life and kind of keep all areas healthy. And then how do we get to know our players at a deeper level and help get the most out of them and get the highest performing teams. Let's hop right into our conversation with Sam Bartowski. All right, guys, I'm so excited. We're sitting here with Coach. Same Bartowski. Sam how are you doing today? 

Sam Rutowski:   1:32
Hey, how are you doing?  

Sam Rutowski:   1:33
Well, doing well, We just had a little catch-up. It had been a while. Sam was one of our in cave student leaders that now she is entered in the coaching world. And after your this is two seasons, right? Tell us a little bit of just you, your story. And how'd you get into coaching? And

Sam Rutowski:   1:53
so I'll start with the current backwards. Backtrack. I'm currently at the university. It's a small T to school in Cleveland, Tennessee, and I'm the graduate assistant soccer coach there. So I've spent the last, however many two years Now. I'll be wrapping up there in May down there, coaching those girls and just entering the world coaching, really. But I've always I've been an athlete my entire life. That's been a part of my DNA, honestly, just every sport all year round,

Nate:   2:28
little sports,

Sam Rutowski:   2:31
soccer. I swam competitively. I ran cross country in middle school. I ran track in high school. I played baseball well. In Columbus, I played with the boys, play baseball, soccer with boys, so that really helped me. Then I went on to play softball, say I played basketball pretty competitively. I played in high school just my senior year, though as a whole. I like it for a long time. And then right before freshman year dropped out, then

Nate:   3:02
e it was

Sam Rutowski:   3:04
I wish I would have played all four years. That's my biggest regret, but I'm happy. My senior year when I went on soccer became the soccer is the reason I pretty much gave up. Basketball, went on to play at Northern Kentucky University, had a great four years there. Looking back, I feel like it was such a great experience, but they're really I mean, obviously any college athlete tell you there's four times I if you know my story, a lot of injuries. I have a lot of weird injuries, so I had a lot of like valleys and struggles with injuries and what that looked like, what it looked like to be a player on the bench. Honestly, those times of injury kind of NBC. The game a little differently made me appreciate the game a little more on. I guess I always just assumed I was gonna be a coach. And I think I think people honestly assumed that, too. Like when you coach your own team like those were kind words that people were saying And that's what I was kind of saying several When I have my team, we're not gonna do this fitness. But I do love it so but so I was always kind of been green like if I play this long, I was always the later I was able to be captain for two years and I love that roll love being able to lead my team and my team in that fashion. So I just felt like it was a natural kind of like an expected thing for me to do was to coach. And so I went. I wanted to get my masters. That was a must for me. So I'm gonna be a school counselor and the perfect like balance. And that is what I wanted to dio waas B a g A. I also get my masters really good deal, but crazy lifestyle s Oh, yeah, we just popped out was just total total God thing. It's It's Christian schools. I was able to get by school counseling degree with the Christian perspective, which was awesome. Beneficial when I hope it'll help my career. But I also got to Coach Is Awesome Girls and literally the best of both worlds, even though the schedules insane. But, yeah, that's where I ended up. I think coaching was always on my path and on my radar to first happened, like straight out of college. I don't like at a D to school. That's really competitive, like, I don't know envisioned that, but I'm super happy with where hopefully only opportunities here Seems

Nate:   5:28
so You're You're Mason High School in K, you and Lee. It was a quick snapshot of this recent season. You guys that really awesome for too? Yeah,

Sam Rutowski:   5:41
actually, because it like it is in those goose bumps kind of season, like every game in the tournament you're getting. So we haven't really been 11 freshmen way lost 10 years of your before, so total what we would have coaches say rebuilding here. That's kind of our plan B also never want to give up. So you don't give up hope. You're not just gonna throw this season and so we a lot of learning. We had a lot of freshmen, so we have a lot of young mistakes. We have a lot of young. We won games, you weren't supposed to win, we lost. Games are supposed to lose, and that was kind of a story of the season. We had people like a couple games in a row like Holy cow. We didn't think we're going to a conference. That's what we're in. Major conference lost incentive finals were like, We're gonna make it until a And so we made it in our region. So we got the at large bid underdog, and everyone

Nate:   6:30
is right. It's

Sam Rutowski:   6:32
not that you have to be the top. It's crazy. How works. I've got so much region, you have to be a top six in the region in this region, and the region were in is one of the hardest hardest regions get out in the country for due to its the southeast region. So are south region, so it's like super super competitive the best, like the number one and two schools in the country are, and so that was. It's hard to get into the tournament with an at large bid, especially with the season that we have had the losses we had, so we're making It was just like Oh my gosh gave the girls justice like a surge of confidence. Then we play our first game. Pretty even won in overtime. A big deal. Play that, uh, so was the game. Second game number two team. The country had a monster game whole season, maybe us earlier in the season. They have a girl Dragon National team. Just super great TV. Probably a shot was palpable. More than us being over time, we're on the Sweet 16. Incredible, Incredible. There we have hopes the Sweet 16 which is also unheard off. So we have to play Sweet 16 in the Elite eight. We wouldn't have made it at home, which crowd support like the 12 man play elite eight. Going over time way heart problems because of the stress we goto play. I think we went to my home state. You're still home for lead. A number either has three team undefeated, still undefeated team they have a ball 80% of the game. They had 17 corner kicks for. Not your soccer players, say 17 corner kicks. We have to corner kicks, which is and they shot my time. We wanted regular time. Yes, and then send us to the Final Four for the first time ever, which was in Pittsburgh. And we play the number one team in country also undefeated. We lost, but like

Nate:   8:29
you could be number two. Yeah,

Sam Rutowski:   8:32
so that was quick, because what these girls did each win. Maybe we shouldn't have one. Maybe we were the better team, but what it did was give him confidence and gave him excitement and, like it gave us hope. Like Okay, like we can do it right? And so I saw, like, a resiliency and just like a great about Yeah, they have along with us, we'll find a way to score. And that's what that's the name of the game of soccer over force on. And sometimes soccer is unforgiving, and I've been on the other end of those gains. But to be honest and coach, little stressful times, but super rewarding like I'm not a crier. But I cried my players. I was crying happy tears made a final four. I think my girls were like, Oh,

Nate:   9:17
my gosh, you're crying. So the whole movie

Sam Rutowski:   9:23
Yeah, yeah, yeah is new for everybody on and maybe

Nate:   9:30
be a field to Yeah, Yeah, These girls

Sam Rutowski:   9:33
Yeah. You wonder how excited like how excited you're gonna be as a coach, but it's a completely different kind of excitement. You just It's like an overwhelming happiness for these players. Have been working for how long, especially like the seniors like working last. For that is like a problem. I think I know what it's gonna be. Oh, just an incredible experience. I'm so thankful for that team. I'm thankful for what we had a really hard times in that season. Just frustration, just not knowing. And so they're just kind of shows like resiliency really kind of pays off. Just having a belief that we're able to dio

Nate:   10:13
Where do you think that that confidence came from? Look what was like, How did they get to have that confidence? Did it Did it take finally getting that outcome of beaten somebody they're not supposed to be? Or was it just from another source like, why do you think they have that belief in the confidence?

Sam Rutowski:   10:28
I think it was a combination of things we lost to a team we should have lost in the conference finals. And I think that kind of shook up and like, Okay, our season could have. Could have been over. And so the not like first election show, I think you watch when us watch. Like even like the big March madness selection teams are like overjoyed, like that was our feeling because we had we really couldn't drive. And so, like the seniors, imagine being a senior, not knowing if your career is over. And so, like, that was just like a huge relations. Like, I think that was a big factor, like your spark. Hey, that was almost the end. And then, yeah, beating every egg with every game. They got more confidence, like with every game we saw. Players like step up big time like some of our freshman, like from mid season to last game, like completely different players. That's what you want to see from your freshman. But it was cool to see it like happening practice. So yeah, it was a mixture of things, but, you know, whatever

Nate:   11:30
way, we'll get back to some more serious stuff in a minute. But I always love to have a what's the most embarrassing moment or the funniest stories. I'm sure there's a bunch of across over time. It would be a will be a good everyone is here.

Sam Rutowski:   11:48
Yeah, So this season, funny for a lot of reasons. Logistically, So do a lot of logistics any, like a sister Energy, A kind of like, really to me. All this stress you feel when it comes to order food and like, you don't know if you're gonna have a place to sleep that night like even the plates. I get really nervous for the flights. Like if the names. All right, so that's just like I have my first year coaching. Last year, I would wake up and have, like, nightmares, food not being there because I do love the girls so much. It wasn't so much of like I need to get right is like Well, if I don't get right So we have hired another another g et So she But she was I was kind of in charge her like like we worked together. I delegated stuff. I got everything, delegate. So every any food mistake, no matter who, itwas came back. And so she's lover. She's from Brazil. Incredible flyer. Credible coach knows the game so well. She was in charge of ordering pizza all season. Whenever we got pizza, that was her job. That was the easiest thing for her to do at that time. And so we have invented a doozy of a trip. Were coaching brings you a lot of really cool places around the world. I've seen a lot of cool things someplace. They're better than others. And so is my first time Mississippi and I don't know. I'm gonna go back. It's a very Mississippi in Cleveland, Mississippi, Funny enough. Or from Cleveland, Tennessee, and we had traveled a lot within the state because there's no hotels in Cleveland, Mississippi. So we had stayed in Oxford, Mississippi, and so my g A. This is like it wasn't funny at the time. She had ordered pizza to be delivered to the old Miss Soccer stadium, and after the way, So our manager you call home was, we're we're tied to a team. One of the bottom teams of our conference, and if we would have lost that game, it would have been bigger problems with pizza. And so our manager pizza wasn't there. We're in overtime. I was like, Hey, go call pizza And she couldn't really understand cause of this Southern accent, actually, and he's like I'm at the stadium. She's like, Well, I'm outside the stadium and he's like this and they just have this back and forth for like 15 minutes. So I took him along and I'm not even watching the game anymore in our head coach after he's like, I knew something was up because you guys were pacing and I don't know how we ended up winning, which is like, so good. But we had to order pizza to this new dominoes in like, 10 minutes, and it was it wasn't ready. They're going out. The dominoes is like, well, to be really expensive because you just called it we want and we were so happy that we won because we were lost and the pizza that's just like like my worst ever date country, but also shows all the time. But we were We were very yeah, like the girls think itself. I think stressful. The food is so they appreciate it. Like I've never been on a team with something. Thank you. Like, Oh,

Nate:   15:17
people miss that has Really? Yeah. So now there's 15 pizzas in another city so that there was a problem. I don't trust other people. Well, one of the main conversations we had with coaches, a lot of them are married with family and kind of differences in the lives. It's really cool to see a different perspective. So just just out of college, getting the kind of flipping the coaching. So for you, how did you balance you have grad school? You have helping out with the team, which is not just a 15 an hour a week job. I'm quite sure. Personal stuff. You had a lot on your plate. So how did you find time to stay healthy physically getting the academic work done professionally, spiritually worsen wins and losses? That was lesson learned.

Sam Rutowski:   16:17
Yeah, and I think if you would ask me, never points in the season, it would be a different answer every part of the season, because that's the nature of being in season of college sports, traveling the workload in school. So I say working. If I do the math, what you're gonna do, that's crazy. I probably worked around 40 for soccer week, my internship as an elementary school during school council with the little ones, and that's 20 hours a week. And then

Nate:   16:53
you're 60 before any of

Sam Rutowski:   17:02
that. But also, I was like, seven days is not just like a five when you hear a 40 hour week like missile, this is for seven days. Like I worked like most of my marriage for some wrong because And so every day I've had a look of like, how we're gonna do this like honestly, it was like this was a very up and down season with every aspect of my life. Like I think spiritually I've struggled when I didn't try. I mean, obviously you don't prioritize. And I was able to start a study with some friends actually back in Ohio, and we started off really, really strong, and I was like getting in the word, which is the first time I've been able to, like, actually study like that way, did it on Skype, and it was so great. My second family here I own so beneficial. And then something happened. Nothing happened. Life happened like we just We all busy. We all lost kind of that. Like we were able to me like it was impossible to meet with our schedules and like, so I definitely where it was that time was like, Oh, my gosh. Yeah, like, really getting healthy word. I just feel really sure about that. But definitely wasn't a season like in all honestly, like I didn't touch my Bible like, which is, like stinks. But I also like, as long as I was aware that I know that, like, Okay, how can I change that? I still felt yeah. Yeah. And I think if I'm learning from what? Why did that happen? Like, I mean, literally like, I am a very big like I trained for marijuana like a lot of fitness. And so that was a priority. I said earlier, like I didn't wake up a couple of days because I could it to work out so tired and so, like, I was trying away, like, workout time is my time for me and then school. Like, if I don't pass, I'm not gonna graduate. So How do you balance that? Like I did not have an answer. And I do not like I was talking about here. I don't know how I did it, and obviously I did have a relationship with Jesus and I was a strong. I don't think I have been on street. I think that would have been, like exploded at small amount. Yeah, And so even though I like I was actively pursuing and reading and learning, I do feel like that is kind of my blanket of protection shield that time of life. And I know seasons of life bring different kind of spiritual growth, and this is a different kind of spiritual growth. I think I think I learned more about how I can be sweet. So yeah, it was. I'm like, I look back. I don't know. I honestly, like I had a lot of people are willing to work with me and a lot of people like given take time. So that was a lot. It's a lot of communications. I feel like I am gonna like being proactive in communication and like it's the same with families. Like, if you're actively communicating with your style so your kids like it's gonna be easier to balance all that stuff. And I think that was the biggest thing is like the relationship I have with people is how I was able to not make anybody super upset because I was just pulled two then so and I'm really happy. But I do have many hours of

Nate:   20:18
life. What's the Oh, did you find any? Because I was able to some point just you mentioned running where they become for the sound of music playlist? Go on. That sort of thing was kind of the whole distracted running thing. There's other time for this way without anything and found ways to. It was actually a really good like I was kind of a double dipping training physically, but I was also able to have basically Time lords pray, and everyone would be like singing a couple tell me back songs would be like a shadow there. Where did you feel like that was able to happen a little bit, too. While you're running, you're also

Sam Rutowski:   21:05
used running. I've never liked having headphones in part of a safety part of focusing on like the actual running on dive off also like since I started running, I used as a spiritual like I'm not doing anything else. So why not pray and I'm not gonna like I'm not gonna see her. Yeah, every run prey like, yeah, I can spare one for having a couple minutes like it's I mean, yeah, I wander, but it checks out. Yeah, I was used. I've appreciated running for that. And I think running has given me a lot because of that. I learned a lot. I came a beloved also like how God created us perfectly. Having that creates those moments of like, Hey, here's so I also like I tried to fit in I my drive. My elementary school was nine minutes todo eso I would squeeze it at least two more because that's like That's all I had. I would like me in season. If you know the college soccer season. It's Friday There once. No

Nate:   22:26
todo what?

Sam Rutowski:   22:28
You're making breakfast at 8:30 a.m. s until four. So just know give so that nine minutes of worship, even like matter, wasn't paying attention like at least it was like infiltrating someone. I was just trying to do little things like that. I like it. So even like I followed accounts on It's like, even like little things. If you don't have time for these big things, you know, you gotta find still watch also big podcast girl. So when I'm driving, which on some trips, listen to podcasts, which was a big church service. Thank you to just listen to the bridge.

Nate:   23:23
Look, a couple of things. One of chat when it would be You become a combo question here, but who are who are one or two countries that you felt really impacted you all the way. And then what was it like going from a player too? I'm sure that was like the countries have impacted probably before that too. But what was that transition like and And who has impacted? Have your attention now?

Sam Rutowski:   23:48
Yeah, definitely. As I'm kind of approaching a new a time of new opportunities are looking for Be looking for jobs here. And I'm trying to formulate what approach to coaching when I have a team.

Nate:   24:05
We're looking for a soccer. She still Yes,

Sam Rutowski:   24:14
I Yes, I've been thinking a lot about that. Kind of like reflecting on what kind of coach I will say it again. I saw this week and I'll say it, probably our old buddy. And the shirt out of Mason is like hands down. I think I'd like a coach. I packed in me, I would say, And it's not what you taught me. It's not what kind of player he made me, too. It was his relationship with players. It was I'm going to care more about you as a person, as a player. And if the player thing all works out me state my senior year like that. Hey, like that's just a plus like he was so concerned about are like, well, being as students and friends and just like with within our friendships And just he was just, like, full around and holistic taken. He wouldn't say that. I

Nate:   25:10
see a language you say three dimensional. Yes, body mind, spirit of heart. You know,

Sam Rutowski:   25:15
I remember that. Yeah, and he like it. You can see it from the players. I go back and visit. Like if you're This is like one husband. However, people are going back to you. Still you see your players. They're so excited. Talk to you like

Nate:   25:29
a background that was in the preseason.

Sam Rutowski:   25:30
Yeah, and I've always tried to be a part of Mason's Our program, because they gave me so much like that program gave me so much like the least I can do is help out what they've done for me. So he is like, definitely influence and kind of impacted where I'm thinking about going with my coaching and I'm going into the transition player Coach is so, so challenging, especially because it happened right. It was a seamless transition like I was playing and then I was a coach and so, like I did have already pre season college and then the next preseason I was coaching and so part of me was like preseason preseason, so I wanted to feel so bad. But I was like, part of the heart transition. But then I got over that to this day. But once I got over, that kind of like figuring out what what I responded to as a player and I've been in their shoes. So I had some point like there's gonna be similarities and I wanna know and I as a J. You don't have time to say and how the program was run and I agree with the culture is awesome. I love culture, but there's things that I can't wait to implement in my future, whatever whatever I'm doing. But I definitely like taking what kosher taught me. He told me to call me Andy. You want older e o. Tell me what you taught me as like just investing in people and that's a G A. That was like the coolest, most unique position to do. That is like I can invest in these girls like Thank

Nate:   27:03
you for making playing time. Yeah, yeah,

Sam Rutowski:   27:07
like you want to have boundaries with that. But also, like these are college kids who, like college is a great time. But what you don't know, it's like it is difficult. Crawford. You don't There's 100 different things going on. I love the position I was in to be able to like mentor. The girls care about that like they were asking questions off like, I mean, even things like I was teaching them how to cut different vegetables just like a little impact like that. Like, how are we getting stains out of uniforms like like, even though that's like, whatever material. A suit like I'm hoping like that That would leave an impact. That's I can't wait to have a team and like of my own and kind of that's what our teams like. Relationships and the team. The two years that I've been coaching that this group of girls is like Super comm Yusef super awesome, Great, like you don't get that every day. So I was really blessed with that. It's a great group of kids, so definitely relation A ll care about the person, which I think a lot of coaches were gonna say that. But in practice, what does that look like

Nate:   28:16
you have a strategy for? Yeah, that's a lot of our challenge. Sometimes a little talk with judges, and what do we know? You have a good heart and you want to care about the kids and their hearts and everything else. But it's How are you gonna do that? What's the strategies? And we offer options and stuff, but it it is tough to like, have it land the plane because it would be easy to just give lip service to it or the one twos there. You're like, I only have this much my time. I think that a lot of that could be like you were saying how you go about stuff I don't know, necessarily adding things. It could just be how you're going about percussion could be a big deal. I know you're you're facing impact that some because the reason you care about relationships so much as its relationship with God and let your other people, that's that's pretty much the end. It's not a mean stone, and it's like that is in gold

Sam Rutowski:   29:06
and I don't see, like, another way to go about like like another reason for why I like Well, because people like relationships, football, the in fact sports are incredible, like sports Have this awesome Not just like this platform for youto sure that what they teach you so much. And they provided so many awesome interactions and lessons. And so like, if you could be very vulnerable times and while you're a player and like to have a coach that, like knows that I care about that like I don't know, I just I think it's a perfect kind of set up relationship kind of thing. The cover letter like

Nate:   29:57
influences incredible, has been. I think it will continue to be another area that we talked about a little bit before. Starr reporting is just God made everybody different. There's always different personality tests out there. There's Myers, Briggs and Disc. There's a ton of all but one of the one. That's kind of a lot of attention as any a gram. And I know that impacted some of the relationship you had with your players and maybe just give us a little bit. What have you learned about yourself and just the way different people are wired with impact.

Sam Rutowski:   30:32
So all season they were like pounding me to take this way. And then they wanted me to bring the book that I was with this. I was like, This wasn't just like a two minute test commitment. So I actually took a 20 out of season, and I was like, Well, whenever you take your yeah, on that, I was able to read the book and I have the girls while the girls were trying to guess what what number? I got everything. They have no idea what So they thought I was chief of the performer of the challenger one point but I'm a perfection and one with really strong to a perfectionist helper, which I think is

Nate:   31:24
perfectly safe when that's secondary.

Sam Rutowski:   31:26
Yeah, it's like a stronger one, so you could have your 98 week or two on the other side of you. So I want you to wear your reading. I read the book, Throw it back to you. It's great. Explain reading, reading about another number. So much sense, like leaves on yourself, doing all the time players. I knew how to approach certain fires, even change. Our first E had a challenger player number eight player, and she we were like lover that, like I think, always remember. But we like we're able. I was able to give her more than she thought because challengers like to challenge and I was able to challenge her more than a lot of people. So she got. I kind of lived off that drive off that interaction, and at the end, even though sometimes it might about heads at the end like I feel like our relationship was super for full away, like it was a strong like I hoped she acted out of impact. Her she definitely back to me just like understanding if you work in schools. Thio, I'm in schools, school, counselor position. So understanding each kid and has different needs Understand that each player has different needs and you can't. And I don't know this, but I'm gonna have to really figure out what that looks like when I'm head coaches like you can't yell at a player that is doesn't like you. I don't know what number it would be like if you're yelling at play, they're gonna shut down. But Challenger yelled them, They're gonna thrive. Yeah, they just understand different needs of each player is so important. And like I'm totally for, like, giving a in your grand test or something. All my players like as a fun team building so that they understand each other, and they even like the coaches they understand, like wires. See, I'm doing so I Yeah, yeah, I definitely see it as a good any one of those personality like love in high school. But languages, like just understanding each other is a great team. Building activities like that's something I'm super excited for

Nate:   33:47
because it'll help the relationships that today it also is gonna help the one law for you gonna play better. Understand how people respond better. I'm just taking a guess here. But if somebody's a perfectionist and your constant calling out what they're doing wrong, what's pregnant?

Sam Rutowski:   34:01
Yeah, exactly. They're gonna over think about that one. Yeah. So just other seeing stuff like that, like, can help a lot.

Nate:   34:13
It's amazing how, like the soft side can really affect, like, the result, like actual tangible on the court field stuff to

Sam Rutowski:   34:20
Exactly. And all this sounds like a really great and I know it's hard, but I think if you commit to something, if you're meant to like whatever your foster coaching is like you gotta commit, just stick with that and you have a time. And I think your players who appreciate well, let's run into practice a little bit with this team building activity learned is that 30 minutes of practice really gonna make us that much better? Or should we do some sort

Nate:   34:49
of are not sure that exact day, but it took over the person season. Our show for me it's something I learned to is, I don't have to change who I am or my natural bent toe help relate or serve other people better. Yeah, there's ways that I can interact and talk and communicative people. We're not the change who I am is Nate, but I'm still I'm helping them by adjusting a little bit how they would receive it

Sam Rutowski:   35:19
exactly. It's emotional awareness about I just been awareness in response,

Nate:   35:25
I used to be just like every single coach, but a lot of the 2030 years ago. Just fear, intimidation. Blackstone. Everybody Hey knows what the repercussions on there's another. See multiple people are kids just too soft these days? They kicking tail. I just I've seen too much of good from learning world, kid. I just think it's a biblical fact. Everybody's wired differently. Yeah, it's okay. I embrace the differences way. Need each other, right? Especially a team sport. You need to mind. That's gonna be that quiet, steady, strength person. And somebody's gonna, you know, get challenging and take charge and be the captain. Entire roster of maids would be like nothing we've actually talked about, but there was issues would always be trying to keep the peace. Peacemakers are way have to be really nice and cozy. Way

Sam Rutowski:   36:32
come home. There's value and eat lots of things that you need one. But there's no value, I will tell you that. You're saying I don't know why. I just do not. It's not me. It's not my character. I don't think would be a screamer coach, but we'll see how that goes like I've never been a yeller. So

Nate:   37:01
the guy from transformational leadership for Taylor, he said. It was a big distinction between yelling to somebody. You lied to them, Thio correct. To do something different on the field. It's that feeling after about who they are. It's very different life. Go over there you are in a time out. Look, you mess that versus, like your It's very subtle, but it's like you're correcting something they did versus when you're saying you are blank. That's an identity thing that could be pretty,

Sam Rutowski:   37:31
Yeah, and as a player, like I was in that how many times I overthink something. But the coach didn't think twice about like that's not It's not his fault. Like I mean, they may have said something but me, they said a certain way. So I'm like, Oh my gosh, I'm talking now. They're not That's not the attention. I look back and say that now, but I have to remember that my players are the same thing. My players are gonna over think a lot of things I say, whoever says like they're gonna no. Even though my attention maybe you like. Okay, we'll just do something the way, our perception, the way we perceive how people say, like what people say, It's so big. I know, player. I over thought things. And I have to remember that my clothes were gonna overthink things like Not like not being so careful words about having a purpose,

Nate:   38:27
any any last fatso, Anything else on your heart, Maybe somebody else you just start again and coaching or any other kind of leadership lest we picked up along the way.

Sam Rutowski:   38:36
Yeah, I think the theme of my like 24 which I feel like where my age is, like I'm not competent, Not like I'm too young. I don't know. I don't experience and like I didn't say, like I'm afraid to be a head coach because I don't think I could do it like I was something like I'm able to. I don't think I don't know anything, I'd be like be good. I think that's like a trap that we fall into that. Like, even when I, which is like this is, goes back even like the starting at CNN. Like being leader, they're like, Well, I don't know. That's about it. The Bible, like I'm not good enough. Not like I'm gonna have to live. Like Like it's a trap off work. This empty comparison. What are we comparing? What at what point will be like? Oh, now. So I think as a young coach is, or even if you're going to a leadership position, like like God has prepared you for where you are, like that is his purpose. And you're his role for you in that position. Like you're going, you're gonna mess up. Yeah, but it's having seven. How you falling gracefully, like showing Jesus. Like I thought I had to tell myself that. So if I can tell other people that like, they're never gonna be good, like like God made you like, you're you're perfect and it's like it's like So why are we chasing this like enough? And so the time is like, now, Like when Jesus, like I'm like waiting, praying and like, trying to hear what? Where he wants to guide me. But that my head I'm also like fighting a lot. And so just being confident and what he's prepared you for, what you the experiences you've been through Like, if you're yeah, very on coach. Like you're there for a reason why the players are gonna relate to you because you're like, you're gonna have strings that you didn't like. You're probably undermining, so just believe in what you where you're at now I believe that you're in this with you for a reason. Like I would love to have a young coach right now. I would love to have that young coach because of the relation factor. So, yeah, I I'm still wrestling with that, so I don't know, Like what? My advice is just like I'm I know Godlike has prepared me. I knew God prepared me for leadership position was wrestling with He is so people He's so perfect that were are his land is gonna permission.

Nate:   41:05
Just testing. In the first couple of months of being on staff, FC Ales, in a meeting with missions, got a church, and he talked about? Well, he was referencing Moses, but he just talked about the importance of we get so caught up in our current ability, or are perceived ability and God's much more in climate respond our availability and our obedience and openness to it. Where if we feel like, hey, you didn't need to be in the mix In this scenario, that's probably a good place to be said for being overly confident. They're getting figured out. That's pretty bad. Okay, not know everything and be authentic as Ugo trust that way. Trust that your expert enough. You're at least a few steps further along where they were really valuable working out. That's really good work. Thanks for sure. But I know you. You embody that you've been, you know, the same. The same person that I met. You've grown a time, but you've always been your spirit, your demeanor and in your drive, how encouraging you then under your blessing to a lot of people on your head and say, you know, you rock that Definitely excited to see this. What's in store for? You know, God had some incredible plans. Thanks for being with us.

Sam Rutowski:   42:21
Thank you. Think so

Nate:   42:35
well that will just about do it for this edition of the coach to coach podcast. Thanks again. So much the same Bartowski for hopping on the show and sharing her heart and her story. One of the things that really took away was her ability to get to know each one of her players and how they will respond and how they're motivated and how they're wired. And it really reminded me that that reality on the team if you get all those people together and know that while you're different, each of each person is valued in a critical part of the team. And when there's unity built that incredible things that happened, the same thing is true for our spiritual life. In First Corinthians 12 it talks about all the different spiritual gifts that different people have. But we're all members of one body of one team, and when we all work together and realize we're all valuable and no one is necessarily better than the other, some incredible things can happen. Well, hey, if you haven't already done so go ahead and hit that subscribe button on your preferred at that you're using. So you won't miss any new episodes coming up and especially the next two episodes, are gonna be special with coach Dale Mueller. He is a legend in the coaching world in northern Kentucky, several state titles. He's coached a couple different schools in Cincinnati but also at Highland High School. He will share some of his journey and wisdom over decades of coaching experience, so excited for good to hear from him. So go ahead, hit, subscribe and until next time, keep changing lives on your team and in your home.