CTC-28 "How sports have changed & the importance of love." - Dave Eckstein, Boone County Football

Dave Eckstein is a life-long NKY coach and has always done phenomenal work investing in students all over the area.
In this episode he walks us through his experience and observations about the changes in the sports landscape and the one thing that has remained consistent (spoiler alert: it's in the title).

Transcript

spk_0:   0:02
All right, guys, I'm so excited. You're here with Coach Day next time, Dave. How you doing today? Doing great. Appreciate me in your name. Well, I really appreciate it because we're in the very back end of dead periods. You have given us a little bit of time to catch up and finish up. That how's your summer been? So far,

spk_1:   0:17
It's been a really good summer. It's obviously it's gotten real hot here lately. Yeah, but we were lucky before the dead period. The weather was nice and cool way work in the afternoons because we a pair of professional coaches. It's definitely a concern when we go back to it has. It's been hot, humid, and it looks like it's gonna be that way for a while.

spk_0:   0:38
Yeah, I see you got a little bit of sun on your face. I know you've log some hours out there. Well, hey, I know that you know a ton of people in Kentucky, but for those that may not know you, can you just give us a little history lesson on Dave and kind of how you got into coaching And maybe some of the pit stops along the way you've had several different schools. You've helped coach football primarily. It's been your only sport, right? Yes. Yes. I just kind of give us quick, quick rundown of Dave and how you get in country. Well,

spk_1:   1:05
I'm Northern Kentucky guy. I was born and raised here in Florence, Union Area. Went to Boone County High School, graduated in 1983 ended up, ended up coaching a youth football team, helping a friend of mine. When I was a senior in high school, it was 1/5 and sixth grade team, and it just I really enjoyed it. I've really enjoyed working with young people. And I made a decision then that that's kind of direction that I wanted to go S o. I did that for a while. Then when I was in college at Northern Coach House offered me a chance of Boone County to come and coach the offensive line there. I was only 19 years old, which you can't do nowadays. You have to be 21 s. I was just very lucky. Spent seven years with coach how can a boon and then went to rile spend seven years of rile Along

spk_0:   2:07
Is Robin around since 1992. Okay. I was Yeah. I figured I'd come around that time.

spk_1:   2:12
Yeah. So, since 1990 to Rile stood around. I was there through 1998. Went to Carroll County, which was a great experience on, then spent five years in Carroll County. And then I came with Bellevue, and I was the head coach of Bellevue for five years and became the assistant principal and eventually the principal and, uh, retired had some health issues. Retired a couple of years ago, and, uh, and now I'm doing well, not physically that that I could do a little coaching again. So help my friend Marty steal Boone County a little bit last year. And now with Bryson. Warner is the head coach. Bryson I coached when he was in high school, and then he coached with us a trial for a year,

spk_0:   3:00
but he played it right. No one played it, but he was a boon. Grants. Remember the Letterman jacket? Yeah. Use my great

spk_1:   3:08
ones. County. He was a just amazing linebacker. You know, he's an awesome guy. He's a very unique person. Has got a very strong personality. Very positive. He's He's just an awesome person. And I really believe that he's going to do a great job in County, get that program turned around, back in the direction things together.

spk_0:   3:31
That's also we just had our FC eight leadership camp last week. A Western. So I got to see firsthand that the football stadium, they have a beautiful football stadium out there in Bowling Green. It's It's like almost sec level niceness. Just a little smaller. I was really impressed. They have a lot of really good programs out there. Knows where he went. That's great. What? I didn't realize you had the Carroll County stop in there. Yes, you lived in union the whole time. I get street, right? I

spk_1:   3:56
did. Yeah. Yeah. I live in the same place, you know, my whole career week, just in the past couple of years and a weak move. But, uh, you know, I drove. It was 40 minutes, 40 miles and 40 minutes every day. The Carroll County and back. But it was a great experience there.

spk_0:   4:14
That's great. Well, let's just unpack. A couple of you've seen an okay. Rile Bellevue, always different types of schools. What's been different at different schools and what's kind of remained the same regardless of where you're at it, love it, love it here. Well,

spk_1:   4:32
all three schools were very different. Rile was kind of an upper middle class at that time. It's become even more of her middle class now that at that time it was an upper middle class suburban school. Carroll County is Carroll County is a rural area, but it also has a large number of people that live in the city of Carrollton. A lot of poverty in that area. And then Bellevue, of course, isn't it is considered an inner city school and a lot of poverty and Bellevue eso. What I've noticed is every school that you go to, they there's a vibe. There's just something that's unique about each school. Andi. I've tried to embrace that. Each place I've gone just, I guess, the things that are different. It's strange, like when I was in Carroll County, that great kids, but the kids were not naturally tough. They were not naturally physical. It took us a couple of years toe really get that aspect. Bellevue, on the other hand, is completely the opposite. You do as soon as I walked in, developed

spk_0:   5:46
very knock their heads.

spk_1:   5:48
That's what they do, you know, that's what the history is, that school. So every school was different, you know, we started riled. Well, a lot of people don't realize is if if you were going to Boone County or to Connor, those are the two schools being fed into rile At that time, if you were involved in any sport or band or anything like that, you stayed at the school you're at. So our first football team, we only had two kids on our team that had been on high school football team in both of them played the same position on the J. V team of Boone County. So we started. It was it was an awesome experience because we started from ground zero and, you know, it wasn't like it is now wearable to get it built and have a good program and do well. I've been very lucky that every school that I've been having been ableto win more games than we've lost, you know? That's one of the keys to being able to stay in coach.

spk_0:   6:52
Yeah, straight be either. It could be both what would be one of the top players you've coached along the way, and then one of your one of the winds that you look back at you, man, I'm never gonna forget that. I'm not sure there's dozens of them, but do you have any player that you just man of all the ballplayers, that coach to get another time? But anyone that kind of sticks out like man, this is just a special player person and or a special win that you had a long way?

spk_1:   7:23
Yes. Uh, obviously you never say that a player is your favorite, but because you love all the players. But the guy that stands out to me is a young man that played for us a Bellevue named Ricky Buckler. And Ricky was when he when he showed up as a freshman. Ricky was about five foot 45 foot, £520. But there was something special about him. He had a work ethic. That was really, really awesome. He was very tough on dhe. Just it was a great example on field guy. His junior and senior year never finished second in anything that we did. He just he just had a heart of a champion in his senior year. He ended up running for 2862 yards and 13 cames 12 13 games. He and was only £150 that point. So in carried the ball a lot, you know, was hit by a lot of big guys and he always got up and he just he was not gonna be denied. And he stands out to me is just I would stand at all sometimes just just watching how someone so small could run over guys that were so much bigger he was was also just the definition of resilience. Hey, Waas! He wasin, you know, went down Thio University of Cumberland's and ended up starting down there for them was a freshman on, then ended up getting a couple of injuries that he had to quit playing. But, you know, he definitely stands out. Is that it is it is a great one. That's cool. What was the second

spk_0:   9:07
2nd 1 would be just maybe a maybe a specific game around that stuck out along the way.

spk_1:   9:13
Yeah, the two that the two that stand out to me or in 1995 beat Highlands, and that was huge. That was really any red, Which I was a riot.

spk_0:   9:23
Riot? Yeah,

spk_1:   9:24
and it was actually our first winning season. And you? No way. We're not supposed to be Islands way beat Highlands. And it was a team effort. Everyone on that team believed that we could get it done, and we did. And then in 2005 Bellevue, we're about to be beechwood. And that was you. Yeah, that was really big. And because you had not beaten Beechwood since, uh, well, it had been a while. And Bellevue hasn't beaten beechwood sense. That's the problem. When you beat the highlands or beach, would you can't sneak up on him

spk_0:   10:02
ever again. That's great. Well, I know we've talked about different also two different topics on this podcast, some incredible stories and different different questions along the way. But one of the things I felt like I have some perspective on is what would be some of the biggest challenges that you face as a coach, or that you currently see coaches spacing. And do you have any kind of wisdom on how we might face some of those challenges and obstacles that country space, whether it be with the team personally, were some of the biggest, biggest challenges you

spk_1:   10:40
see. Well, the biggest challenge I seen that's not just a football challenge is just the amount of time that we require from young people to play sports. I think it it becomes unhealthy at a certain point. You see a lot of young people who get burned out before they ever get high school on sports, and I just think that's unfortunate. I've always tried to, uh, be flexible with with kids playing other sports. I think that's important. I mean, I always like when kids played other spores, but I think we're getting further and further along where it's sports specific and I get it. Everybody, everybody wants their child to be able to get a college scholarship, and the problem is, there's just not enough of those to go around. And I think we've lost sight of what athletics really care about their not about getting scholarships, about learning the life skills, they're gonna help you be a successful adult. And it, you know, just makes me sad that we invest so much into the potential of getting a scholarship, and it just leads to a lot of broken hearts and broken dreams. That's just my personal opinion. I think we as coaches have to be cognizant of being efficient with time. I I've been around coaches that we're not efficient with time. And the one thing that's not healthy for kids is just standing around. Yeah, that's when bad things happen. So one of the things I've always focused on is is when I have them, we're gonna be going 100 miles an hour. But then we're gonna be finished and it's their time. Uh, you know, I believe it's important invest time in sports, But I think sometimes we take it to four.

spk_0:   12:42
Yeah, the pressure for scholarships. And then you have the kind of the peer pressure of either Different programs of different schools are different people. If if just one school has this level of time commitment, then it kind of puts pressure on everybody else that feel like, Well, gosh, we're gonna be behind if we're not

spk_1:   13:02
A great example is two days in football. I don't know any player that's ever played football. That said they love to see Oh no. When I was in high school two days, it was eight in the morning to 11 and then it was 1 to 5 30 you didn't have water. It was not healthy, just wasn't good. And it wore your body down more than building your body up. And, you know, I fell into the same mentality when I was a rile. And actually, my first year Carroll County way did two days and it struck me that we're not gaining out of this. You know what? We should be getting out.

spk_0:   13:50
Things were tapering off. Maybe those afternoons, that

spk_1:   13:52
absolutely in it. I could see that our teams over the years, guys that came into the season £185 that by your 10th game they were £165. That's that's not healthy. That's not good for young people. So my second year, Carroll County, we did away with two days and I haven't done it since. I haven't missed it one bit and actually I feel like it's been a benefit to the kids and I coached. And now, of course, almost no one does two a days anymore because it's just you know, it's just it's not necessary

spk_0:   14:29
in the heat index and you could fit around a lot of different things that don't make sense. Yeah, the time is a big one. So you said, kind of maybe being more intentional with the time you do have and being efficient, any other kind of top tier challenge that you that you face when you see you cut your space these days. Well,

spk_1:   14:50
I think I think we're getting ready to run into a challenge off football off people playing because of the concussion issue. And I certainly understand that I will say that I'm pleased with the changes that have occurred in football with the different levels of hitting. His hitting has been reduced in practice. I think it's great. I really do one of the things that it sounds silly. But toward the end of my head coaching career, I was a nervous wreck. Any time that we did live scrimmaging because of the collisions and the injuries and those things and there is just not necessary. I mean, hitting is part of the game and I love the game. I think there's so much that player gains from playing football, but I think it could be done with lower risks. But I definitely think we're going to see if you review of people playing for a while. At least.

spk_0:   15:58
All the attention in the movie and everything else all that kind of coming out. Yeah, that's a big deal. I've noticed, even just like watching the home run Derby last night or other different sports with soccer, baseball, whatever it is that there's a there's a felt need for those sports those organizations to promote their own game like they really think about. It began extras picking a sport to play and making sure that there's kind of a funnel coming up to kind of keep this thing alive, which I never really thought about it since

spk_1:   16:24
you're exactly right. It's not just football that it's happening with because you know, the video games, kids, kids can stay in the air conditioning and feel like they're playing football because of a video game or feel like they're, you know, batting 400 because of a video game. And, you know, I used to play video games, too, so I can't say anything bad about it. But I think some way, don't have balance sometimes, and life's about moderation and balance. And, you know, sometimes it's better if they put the video games down and went outside you. Rarely on a summer afternoon, drive by a basketball court and see 20 or 30 kids playing basketball and we're playing backyard football or baseball. You just don't see it much anymore. And that's what we used to do. Not that I want to sound like one of those guys. You know, back in the old days, we did this, but it's just I don't think it's healthy for our kids, for our society. Actually,

spk_0:   17:31
I agree. And I got three little ones now and we're already trying to figure out okay, how do we limit screen time and whether it shows a gain for whatever it can really mean left to their own devices, they're gonna pick the iPad over going outside the heat, you know, nine times out of 10. And

spk_1:   17:47
it's hard. It's apparent because of the peer pressure that the child faces and parents face. And, uh, you know, let's be honest and iPad television. Those were great baby sitters, and there's times we needed

spk_0:   18:02
a breather Every once in a while, we'll walk me through a little bit of your journey of kind of the wide behind your coaching and with a little bit before before the interview of I kind of have one major theme throughout your coaching career and that you kind of arrived at what would be and what would be kind of a top theme or lesson learned through through coaching and how that's inspired you. Why you coached, why you coached early on. Maybe compared to why you coach towards the end of that shift.

spk_1:   18:37
Well, to May. It's important that we as coaches love our kids more than we love the sport. And we've all seen the coaches that love the sport too much. And what I just don't think that's what coaching is about. Coaching. All these sports are are just vehicles for us to be able to work with young people and help them again toe learn life lessons and learn habits, qualities that will help them to be successful as adults. So, up from the very beginning of my coaching, that's been my my philosophy is, is love the kids now it doesn't mean you don't kick him in the rear and sometimes I don't mean literally never done that literally. But you have to challenge young people for them to grow. But I've always felt it. It's important for them to know that I care about them is a human being. I you know, I never felt like I was a great player and I know what it feels like to be that guy. That's not a great player. And so I always have kind of been drawn to the guys that aren't the great athletes that are just the meat potatoes. Jimmy's Jos you know who are out there and

spk_0:   20:09
they're still showing up every day, reps and everything

spk_1:   20:11
else and then they're just was important in a team sport and especially in a sport like football, those guys are just as important as your best player. Every football team has hands a spirit and it's been my experience that the spirit comes from those guys and I don't mean the rah rah spirit. I mean an internal spirit in the team. So I think love is is so important. I don't think enough coaches talk about love. I always told my players that I love them. I'll be there for them today, Tomorrow in 10 years from now, and I still live by that. So that's been my focus is a

spk_0:   20:57
really big deal for specifically some players who maybe don't don't hear that from a father or father figure toe head coach say genuine love you and there's there's some action to back that up after. Imagine, that's definitely infections. People walk away.

spk_1:   21:12
I hope it is, and I know it has. You know, you see guys that you've coached and you know, they tell you how much they appreciate what you did for them and all that. But it's my hope that every player that I've ever coached really knows that I care about them or as a human being, that as a player, I know that sounds kind of cliche, but but I sincerely mean that and now the biggest, the biggest. The biggest thing that I would do differently is I. I really didn't become a Christ follower until later in my coaching career, and I didn't always exemplify the qualities of Christ follower and, you know, I regret some of the things that that I've said some of the things that I've done as a coach. I'm sure that most coaches do. Um, but the one thing I know for sure is they knew that my heart was in the right place and that I loved him. But if I had, if I had to do over again, I'd loved to have been more of a Christian coach.

spk_0:   22:23
How did that feel? My share. And how did that go? What led you to that relationship with Christ and out of that have that start

spk_1:   22:31
well, I have always. I've always sought out information on God on Christianity, and I would have called myself a Christian for years and years and years, but But I really it was It was 2002 and I was actually on my way down to Carroll County and and I just had a moment of just I mean, it was a moment of despair. I was in despair. I was struggling with, uh, with with being there and not feeling like I was making a enough of an impact positive. You

spk_0:   23:17
don't always see the results immediately. A lot of times you're planting seeds that you may not see it a little and That's exactly what that's a challenge. It

spk_1:   23:24
ISS and and I just felt like my life was empty. And I mean, I've been blessed my entire life made. The Lord has blessed May beyond measure. Even when I wasn't chasing him, he was chasing May and, you know, I had a wife and I had two wonderful Children and I just felt an emptiness in my soul. And I remember I was on I 71 it just past the Verona exit. I just broke into tears, and I just just ask God for help. You know, Thio to save me to, to to help me through a very difficult time. And it was a light bulb moment for me. Now, again, I don't think I necessarily was very good following Christ. I wanted to didn't know how to, but but I was headed in the right direction. And that's the thing I think all of this is got really appreciates our efforts of trying none of us are ever gonna be senseless, right? The only thing that makes us endless the blood of Jesus Christ. And that's such a gift. Grace is such an amazing gift. I don't know how anybody could could not accept the grace that's offered in Christ. So it's been a process. It really has. And and I said, one of the one of the best things that ever happened to me was meeting one of your good friends, morning mayor and being a part of Marty's Bible study on Thursday mornings for many, many years, right? You know, it's, uh, it's just a killed so many layers of what it really means to be a Christ follower on dhe. I'm not there yet. I'm not. I'm not there yet. I don't know that I'll ever be there, But I know that God loves me. He created me. He knows what he's dealing with me, He knows I'm on. I'm on Drea, and, uh, and he knows I'm trying every day to be the best man that I could be. That's that's all. I can do it,

spk_0:   25:39
you know, it's great. I was with a group on this past Monday morning, and this the way he put it. I heard the concept before, but the way he put it was so interesting because a lot of times we can walk around knowing our past and with shrug shoulders, not really walking with confidence. And one of my friends said that when we have relationship with Jesus like he makes us permanently clean before God, we're permanently in that which is made, it really is. It's almost unbelievable. I would say I believe it, but it's like it doesn't it doesn't make sense So we're permanently clean before God. But we're also in process until until we're done of looking more and more like Jesus. And that's just the cool part. Is the the assurance that we hear totally covered, but then just the joy of and sometimes it's painful. But the joy of knowing that you're not who you were 10 years ago exactly exam, we're all kind of process and it doesn't mean we have to get to a certain point to earn his love. It's already there, and out of that we can continue to grow and fighters to do that. I think there's something really cool that we can pass along to coaches and players, like if they show up before practice and then we said it before on your butt. But Marty even talks about take a lap like before you even play or sue that That your love your accepted and got proud of it Somebody is proud of it takes the pressure

spk_1:   27:04
off. I mean, I know it has for me. You know, this world we live in is very critical world. And it's a scary world. It really is. And it gets scarier by the day. And it's just such a gift graces it is. You know, the way that Jesus looks at us is totally different in the way that the world looks at us and the way that we judge each other. And I'm certainly guilty of that. And that's something I find every single day is not put my judgment on other people because, you know, I don't I don't wanna be judged harshly by my father in heaven. And, you know, I know I can't live up two. I can't live up to my own expectations, much less, much less hiss. But I know his expectations are art for me to grow. And for me it's a daily thing. And, uh, I just I'm just so thankful that I know Jesus Christ

spk_0:   28:04
and the love kids enough to not let them stay where the rat you talked about challenge to a lot of lot of the last 10 minutes he talked about, You know, if your coach might be thinking, Oh, man, this is a lot of soft stuff But as you said, there's also a timeto kind of kick him in here, too. So there's this beautiful balance off. If you only have love and you never reminded what they need to be doing and get on him, then that's not gonna be ideal. And if you're all the time riding them, but they never know that you love him, you know that's gonna drive away as well. So you kind of have that have that balance of kind of grace and challenge?

spk_1:   28:37
Absolutely. You know, that was really sports. It's one of the few places where you get that in our world anymore. All of us. His parents try so hard to toe, make sure kids have wonderful lives. And sometimes, you know, we remove barriers for them that they would be so much better off if we let them fight their own fights and scrape their knees and bruise their elbows. And and, uh, you know, they would be going off.

spk_0:   29:09
Be there to pick him up and

spk_1:   29:10
actually be there to pick him up. Tell him that you're proud of him and do it again. Try it again. You know, Andi, I think sports is sports is so sports are so important because that happens in sports. You know, in my sport and football, you're going to get knocked down. The question is, are you gonna get back up and then you're gonna keep getting back up? Because in life, I tell players, that's all the time you're gonna get knocked down life. I don't care how much money you have, and I don't. You know, I don't care what your circumstances are. Whoever you are, you're going to get knocked down in life. There's gonna be challenges in life, you know, we're We're told that in the Bible on DDE, you've got to get yourself trained to keep getting back up. Never stay down and again, try Try to get better every single day, whether it's a sport, whether it's a class but whatever it iss trying to get better every day.

spk_0:   30:10
I love that you you kind of referenced Ricky Bubbles. That's it. Sounds like again this hour just here, kind of like that resilience thing is just so so important in your sport, but the man that just translate so much because it is inevitable. And sometimes if you have a ton of money, you can even create a dumb problem. So it's like we're not going to go through this life without having challenges. And what better way to figure out how to handle that then and suit up and play on the gridiron or whatever, whatever other

spk_1:   30:38
sport, and I'm sure it's same way another, I mean, you know, other sports as well. The thing I love about football and the reason I'm always been drawn the football well. First, it was the only sport that I didn't get cut from, so they tried basketball and I got to let the baseball I couldn't hit a ball. So I'm not the most athletic guy in the world. Football is a sport where if you don't have to be a great athlete, you just have to keep getting up extra. You have to persevere. And, uh, and that's something I learned how to do. And that's why I love football. Football's great because it starts in the heat, it ends in the cold. Not everybody's gonna get the score a touchdown, that everybody's gonna get their name in the newspaper if you have to sacrifice for the common good, which which I think is a Christian value. But it's also an American value. And, uh, you know, that's something I believe strongly in. Two is that we live in the greatest country in the world. It's not a country without problems, but we need to be proud to be Americans. And what we need to do instead of complaining, is working together to try to try to make this more day of every day.

spk_0:   31:49
Yeah, that's good. That's really good. What? I just appreciate just all your all your insides and your and your wisdom. I know you've already left a legacy of coaching tree, I'm sure, but also hundreds, if not thousands, of this point, maybe players that have played under you said us Appreciate your heart, just your faithfulness, all these years of coaching, and you've always been a great friend of Marty's and a great friend of FC A's and supporter, even a group leader. You have your wolf Pack coaches group they're just been. It's been enjoyed to get to know you a board member at one point and said this appreciate you and your heart and all that you've done for this community and FC as well. So thanks thanks for being on the show, and we look forward to seeing you.

spk_1:   32:34
I appreciate it, mate. I've got to say, F c. I wish we had an f c A when I was in high school. I really d'oh! I think I would have been drawn to it. You know, I might have gotten to know Christ a lot sooner than I did, and I'm thankful for the work that you guys do in the schools, because more today than ever, our kids need to hear about the grace of Christ offers and and how it can change your life for the better. There's a lot of competition out there for our kids, and they needed. They need to know that there's one true God and and hopefully hopefully get it, get a chance to follow that

spk_0:   33:15
guy. That's awesome. Well, best wishes on the season and you will be looking at for a good good year for the rebels.

spk_1:   33:21
I appreciate it. I'm helping so awesome